This is the amazing story of our micro preemie, John Craig. He was born on November 30, 2005 at 24 weeks and 5 days gestation. He weighed 1 pound 8 ounces and was 12 inches long. John is a true miracle and an inspiration to all that meet him!
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29.11

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Imagine.....


















I was reading the March of Dimes website and saw these amazing poems that parents had written about their own experiences. So, I thought I'd try to sum up our life and write my own!



Imagine...


Imagine being told you were pregnant after having a miscarriage the month before.

Imagine hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time.

Imagine being air-vaced to the ER at 24 weeks pregnant , thinking that you have lost your baby.

Imagine being told that you are about to have a C-section, but don't expect your baby to come out crying.

Imagine lying on an operating table feeling helpless because there is nothing you can do to help your baby.

Imagine your baby being born the size of a ruler, weighing a pound and a half.

Imagine your baby being 100% dependent on a machine to live.

Imagine your wedding ring fitting on your baby's arm, loosely.

Imagine not being able to hold your baby for weeks.

Imagine getting a call from the doctor at 3:30am because your baby has an air leak in his lungs.

Imagine looking at your baby , praying to God, that he will live another day.

Imagine not being able to breath every time the phone rings.

Imagine your baby having life or death surgery when he is only 8 days old.

Imagine watching your baby being prepped for surgery, not knowing if you will ever see him alive again.

Imagine hearing that your baby has a grade 4 bi-lateral brain bleed and will have long term disabilities.

Imagine a doctor encouraging you to take your baby off life support because his quality of life is uncertain.

Imagine praying to God that the doctors are wrong.

Imagine loving your baby so much that their diagnoses means nothing to you.

Imagine crying your self to sleep EVERY night.

Imagine having a baby but going home without one.

Imagine what it feels like not knowing if your baby's next breath will be his last.

Imagine going to the mall, too afraid to buy baby clothes, because your not sure that your baby will live to wear them.

Imagine bringing your baby home, but you can't take him anywhere because his immune system is too weak.

Imagine being woken up by the sound of your baby's heart rate monitor going off.

Imagine pumping every 2 hours because you know breast milk is the best thing for your baby.

Imagine the feeling of hopelessness when your baby will not eat.

Imagine having to feed your baby through a feeding tube.

Imagine trying to stay sane while all this has taken place.

Imagine having a micro preemie.

Can you imagine?

12 comments:

Auntie Tracy said...

Oh my gosh! I'm in tears right now! Is it Ok to say that that is a great poem? Kind of puts things in perspective, for me anyway. I know we all hurt for you, but never "imagined" to what extent. The boys nursery theme was John Lennon's "Imagine". Goes to show that your imagine and my imagine were worlds apart. I do imagine me holding John and giving him Auntie kisses SOON I hope!

Jill said...

Glad you liked it. Come over any time....as long as you are healthy!

Zenobia said...

Jillichico - I am just speechless and I'm having a hard time typing through the tears. You are so strong and as parents you and Jamie are a true testament to the power of love. Can't wait to finally meet John!

Jill said...

Zee-I love you. We'll set a date soon. Can't wait for the boys to be best friends.

nosh daruwalla said...

Jill my dear sweetie....I read ur whole blog and poem @ 12:42 am and imagine now I am trying to find the courage to write to you for the first time ...trying to see the damn computer screen...its getting very misty and cloudy ...thru' all the rain falling from my eyes......God you are sooooo stong... for John....God has answered all ur prayers so far....and He will continue doing that......God .....I prayed for you ...for John....God , I wish He wouldn't do things like that to beautiful people like you...John is your Miracle...our Miracle..and...Jill you are the Miracle Mother..You are so special....I love you very much.

Nosh Daruwalla

dudecoff said...

You are my inspiration Jill. Give your little man a kiss for me.

Grammy said...

After all this time, I just melt into a pile of tears just thinking how fortunate we are to have that amazing little bundle. It was difficult going through the past months, watching our children suffer all those thoughts written above. But Papa and I knew that John would thrive, having his parents there to guide him. You are both such an inspiration; he is so fortunate to have you. As we watch his personality forming you realize that the medical field can only take you so far with all their tests, etc. John has proved them wrong every time. We all look forward to having him "out" in public. It will be so much fun to show him off to all the people that prayed for him. (I am still balling!!!!)
We love you all.
Grammy and Papa

Sonya Stockhaus said...

Jill and Jamie
As a mother of a preemie myself I thought I had an idea of what you were going through. I was wrong. I am humbled in the light of your strength and resolve. We all have a tendency to take things for granted, but your poem shows just how important each and every moment of our lives truly is. We are with you in spirit and love and cannot wait until the day we can meet John in person. We so appreciate the website to see him and get updates on his progress. God bless you and your beautiful son.
Love,
Sonya & Sean & the boys

Anonymous said...

Jill,

Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem about John Craig. You and Jamie are such lucky to parents to have found each other and then to have JC find you.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers every night. I know with every breath I take that John Craig is very special.

All my love,

Jennie Stemm
Copper Canyon Elementary

Anonymous said...

I have checked your blog from time to time. I have a preemie (33w, 5d)who had a heart monitor for a few weeks. That traumatized me enough. You have been through unspeakable situations and yet came through and can now describe them to others who may be in the same place you. Thank-you and may God continue to bless all of you with life and love.

Barb said...

I loved your poem! I had a 26 weeker and it definitely it home for me...

Jane@flightplatformliving said...

just found you and this is the first thing i have read! you have me in bits andnow i literally cannot wait to find out more!

i cannot quite imagine your experience but possibly some of it.

i too had the shock of diagnosis...myeldest was diagnosed out oftheblue at 2 and halfyears old with smith magenis syndrome!


i too know the pain of miscarriage..two in a row that tore my heart out. but also i know the joy of finding myself pregnant a month later after vowing I would never try again!

itoo was scanned onthis pregnancy being told my baby was probably dead...his twin had died at 9 weeks!

but my miracle boy was not dead and survived and is my joy alongside his siters!

so wonderful to meet you and wow what apoem! xxxx